Good stuff. Bad stuff.

well here's the good stuff:

I handed in my evolutions lab, and my anthro abstract. I also managed to convince my mom that I hav a late night lab, and i will be coming home late. Whereas in actually, my besties sister, areej is going to have her birthday party at sheraton hotel downtown, and I have permission to stay out all night. Uneducated parents have their advantages.

Bad thing:

I haven't touched my eternal static. I mean, I literally don't even know where to start, I've been wondering how I'm going to edit it, and take it in a new direction. I mean hypothetically speaking, apart from a few missing scenes, this novel is already done. But, this is going to sound textbook corny, but I feel like I need to take the story in a new direction. I need to change a few things, only because my mind-set has changed. I don't see the world the same way after this summer for some strange reason. The funny part is I'm not even sure why. It's not like I had some major life changing moment or anything....I just.....I'm just different. So now, Leyla, who's life plan and fate was already decided is going to follow me on my derail, because in essence as of right now she IS me. Maybe not what she does, or how she is, but her brain is mine. So I can't write from her perspective and not change it, and because of that now the whole story will be shifted around.

Another thing. I've noticed, even though I know Sebastian Crane inside and out, when re-reading the passages where I have written about him, it's like I don't know him at all. I'm starting to think that maybe it's because I am not a very good writer but its not just that. That for sure is certain, i'm a shit box of a writer, but maybe I am not doing Sebastian Crane's character any justice. I mean he is the most complex character, apart form olivia and samson (total future character I don't even know where he came from, his name and plot just popped into my head right now as I speak...lol). I mean sebastian crane doesn't just do things for the sake of doing them. I mean he really carefully thinks everything out. And even though he does things, that may always on first glance seem like a mistake in his account, it really isn't. For him it was the only move he could make. Sebastian and Leyla, though they are completely different characters, opposite in every way a human can be, it's quite strange how they could be exactly the same beings. They really are the same. Half the time I am writing from Sebastian's perspective via Leyla, and I don't even know it. But I don't think many people will see this, because I am not a good writer.

I know, you hear people saying it all the time "oh i suck" and then their work is a fricking giller prize in the making.

But believe me. Mine's is a total pice of dump. But the strange thing is I love it. The story is something I like to think about when I have spare time, I really do adore it. I just hope someone out there loves and cares for it as much as I do, even if it one other person.

Anyways, moving on from the emo crap.

I am going to go to the gym tommorrow.
I bought an agenda, so cross that off the list of things to do.
ALso I made resume, so that means I am halfway on the way to etting a job right?

I can't believe I am going to the gym. Damn. If you need to know, I really am not a gym person. Sitting here writing this, I am eating two slices of pizza, orange crush, jalapeno chedder sauce, smartfood popcorn and ringolos.

I am not a healthy person.

But this girl named Alannah Holder who goes to uoft with me, is persuading me to go, and I must tell you, I kind of don't want to.

I mean I do, I need to get in shape before summer, because of all my friends I am the least ready to go public in bathing suit.Trust me, you'll cringe, and hurl. So I mean there's motivation there, but you see, I don't have school tommorrow. I constructed my schedule so I have tuesdays and thursdays off, so that I can refuel in between school days. And I am only running on 1and 1/2 hours of sleep from last night and the extra sleep would be fantastic.

But I am a slacker, and maybe the early hours wil remind me never to cram, and buy the textbook for the class the night befor your essay is due. Oh who am I kidding, I've been doing this since I was able to talk, procrastination is my middle name.

But I find I do some of my best work in times of procrastination. Like the 97% I scored in my chemistry lab last year topping the smartest kid in school. I'll nver forget that moment, I was a happy bird.

what was I talkign about....

Oh yea, so I guess I am going. But I'll tell you I am not happy about it.

Geez louise, I have two more years of this agony left. How am i gonna get through this?